Suggested Reading List
Books by Pia Melody:
Founder of PIT "Post Inductive Therapy" a well respected intervention for treating childhood wounding, low self worth, boundary violations, codependency and addiction issues that later surface in adulthood.
The Intimacy Factor: In Pia's book she traces the origins of this illness back to childhood, describing a whole range of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, and sexual abuses. Clearing up the toxic feelings left over from childhood and learning to reparent oneself by intervening on the adult symptoms of codependence is the focus of Pia's book. Central to Mellody's concept is the idea of the "precious child" that needs healing within each adult. She creates a framework for identifying codependent behavior and describes an effective approach to recovery that includes both therapy and self-help processes.
Facing Love Addiction: Pia describes in detail the dynamics of a co-addicted relationship, she describes in detail the dynamics of a co-addicted relationship, the symptoms of each partner, and the stages of addiction - from attraction and fantasy to denial and obsession. She provides a practical recovery process of love addicts and their partners, based on Twelve-Step work, exercises and journaling. Pia's clear guidelines will comfort and motivate all those who seek to establish health love relationships.
Facing Co-Dependence: Pia Mellody traces the origins of this illness back to childhood, describing a whole range of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, and sexual abuses. Because of these earlier experiences, codependent adults often lack the skills necessary to lead mature lives and have satisfying relationships. Recovery from codependence comes from clearing up the toxic feelings left over from childhood and learning to reparent oneself by intervening on the adult symptoms of codependence. Central to Mellody's concept is the idea of the "precious child" that needs healing within each adult. She creates a framework for identifying codependent behavior and describes an effective approach to recovery that includes both therapy and self-help processes.
Breaking Free from Co-Dependence: Based on such concepts as the "precious child" and the five core symptoms of codependence, along with the Twelve-Step process of recovery used by Codependents Anonymous, Breaking Free provides strategies and insights for attacking the fundamental problem in codependence the lack of dependence on self. In a three-part approach to recovery, Mellody first shows recovering codependents how to move beyond denial of their childhood history of abuse. She then offers techniques to identify concrete ways in which the symptoms of codependence operate in their lives.
Books by Patrick Carnes:
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. The groundbreaking book that first identified and defined sexual addiction. A must for anyone looking to understand the illness, its an expert and in-depth look at the origins of sexual addiction and the addiction cycle.
He is the leading professional and expert in sexual addiction. He has written 27 books on the subject with more in the process. Dr Carnes developed a therapeutic technology now widely used and recognized as "The Thirty Tasks to Recovery from Sexual Addiction". He founded it on a landmark study of the recoveries of 1,000 sex addicts from 1996 to 2004. Dr. Carnes has since, among other things has pioneered the founding of the Certified Sex Addiction Therapist program. This has evolved into a network of local, regional, and residential programs which specialize in this work.
Contrary to Love: Helping the Sexual Addict: This sequel to Out of the Shadows traces the origins and consequences of the addicts faulty core beliefs. Building upon his earlier work, Carnes describes the stages of the illness and lays the groundwork for potential recovery. Includes original research for the breakthrough Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST).
Don't Call It Love: This landmark study of 1,000 recovering sex addicts and their families explores how people become sex addicts and the role of culture, family, neurochemistry and child abuse in creating addiction. Regarded as the best source of data on sex addiction, it describes predictable stages of recovery most addicts go through.
Facing The Shadows Workbook: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery. A workbook utilized to cover the first seven of thirty tasks towards a healthy sexual recovery from sex addiction. Dr. Carnes walks the addict strategically through such issues as denial, blaming, and rationalization to eventually establishing sexual sobriety while all the while establishing the beginnings of emotional awareness and healing if worked with a competent therapist trained in sexual addiction and a 12 step program.
A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps: The Classic Guide for All People in the Process of Recovery. A guidebook for people in recovery that helps them understand their own story and begin planning a new life of recovery. With more than 250,000 copies sold, it holds invaluable insights for beginners and old-timers alike in any program.
Open Hearts: For couples working together through difficult issues, Open Hearts can help couples lead their way back to happier and healthier relationships.
The Betrayal Bonds: Breaking Free From Exploitive Relationships: One crucial issue links domestic abuse, child abuse, sexual harassment and exploitation, cult membership, kidnapping and addiction: In a savage psychic twist, what hurts most often becomes compulsive. Victims bond with their perpetrators to the stunning point that they will die rather than leave or escape. This book will create a new wave of understanding about sexuality and the dynamics in intimate sexual relationships. While traumatic bonding has long been recognized by the therapeutic community, Carnes breakthrough book focuses on how betrayal intensifies trauma and illuminates the keys to escaping destructive relationships.
The Recovery Zone Workbook: Stopping addictive behavior is the only way to start recovery. However, stopping the behavior is not enough to stay in recovery. True recovery is achieved by learning to cope with difficult situations and emotions. Dr. Patrick Carnes helps readers know how to deal with difficult affective states and quides them to a place of resilience so they can decide what is important in their lives. Readers will learn how to live optimally in the Recovery Zone. The work sets the stage for recovery Tasks Eight through Thirteen, providing readers with a practical approach to recognize the underlying emotional causes that perpetuate the addiction cycle.
Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self Hatred: The devastating mix of fear, pain and betrayal can lead to obsessive sexual aversion. Tracing the dysfunctions roots in childhood sexual trauma, neglect and abuse, Carnes explores dimensions of sexual health, targeting key issues that let recovery proceed. Drawing on extensive research and revealing case studies, the book develops concrete tasks and plans for restoring nurturing and sensuality, building fulfilling relationships, exploring intimacy and creating healthy sexuality. Woven throughout are stories of recovery which illustrate sexual healing principles, model new behavior and motivate change.
Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW:
Daring Greatly: How The Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live Love Parent and Lead
I Thought it Was Just Me (But It Isn't
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Rob Weiss, LCSW
Books by Charlotte Kasl:
Women, Sex and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power
If Buddha Dated
Books by Brenda Shaeffer:
Is It Love Or Is It Addiction? The Book that Changed the Way We Think About Love and Intimacy: The book that will teach you or some one you love to protect the human gifts of sex, love, and romance!
Books By Claudia Black:
Deceived: Facing Sexual Betrayal, Lies, and Secrets;
Intimate Treason: Healing the Trauma for Partners Confronting Sex Addiction
Changing Course Healing from Loss Abandonment and Fear
It's Never too Late to Have a Happy Childhood
Books By Jennifer Schneider, M.D.:
Sex, Lies, and Forgiveness: Couples Speaking Out on Healing From Sex Addiction
Books by Terrance Real:
How can I Get Through To You: Reconnecting Men and Women: Everything You've Learned about Love and Relationships is Wrong!
The New Rules of Marriage: A Breakthrough Program For 21st Century Relationships. What you need to know to make love work.
Working With Grandiousity: CD SET
I Don't Want to Talk About It: Exposing the silent epedemic of depression among men and offering hope for ending the pain and shame.
Books by Alexandra Katehakis, MFT:
Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot Healthly Sex While Recovering From Sex Addiction
Making Advances A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts
Books by Michelle Weiner Davis:
Divorce Remedies: The Proven 7 Step Program to Save your marriage.
Divorce Busting: How to Save Your Marriage. A step by step approach to making your marriage loving again
Patricia O Gorman
Healing Trauma: Through Self-Parenting The Co-Dependency Connection
John Gottman, PhD.
Dan Neuharth, PhD.
If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Take Your Place In The World
Aphhrodite T. Matsakis, PhD.:
I Can't Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors by Aphrodite T. Matsakis PhD
Other Books Recommended:
Hope After Betrayal: Healing When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage. Wilson, Meg
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Rosenburg, Marshall B.,How to Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values
Heartwounds: The Impact of Unresolved Trauma and Grief on Relationships; Dayton, Tian, PhD.
Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal: Naparstek, Belleruth
Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction: Dr. Mark R. Laaser
Trauma and Addiction: Ending the Cycle of Pain Through Emotional Literacy. Dayton, Tian PhD.
Safe People and Avoid Those That Aren't. Cloud, Henry; Towensend, John., Authors of Boundaries.
Books on Narcissism:
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Mason, Paul T.
If You Had Controling Parents: Dan Na
Children of the Self Absorbed: Brown, Nina, W. A Grown-ups Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents
Loving People, How to Love and Be Loved: Dr. Townsend, John. Giving you the steps and tools on how to become skilled at how to love and be loved.
Why Him Why Her: Fischer, Helen. Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type
Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. Gottlieg, Lori
Boundaries in Marriage. Townsend, John
Out of Bounds: Coming Out of Sexual Abuse, Addiction, and My Life of Lies in The NFL Closet. Simmons, Roy & Dimarco, Damon
Some Times I Act Crazy: Living With Borderline Personality Disorder. Kreisman, Jerold J. M.D. A Book for Those with Loved Ones Living with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Books On Loss
When Someone You Love Dies. Coleman, William L. discusses the fears and questions that young people have when someone they love dies, perhaps a parent, sibling, or a close friend.