What is co-sex addiction?
Help is as close as your phone...
There is hope on the other side of sexual betrayal." ~Tracy D. Tacquard, LMFT, CSAT
If you are the spouse or partner of a person who has betrayed you with sexual deception and/or compulsive use of pornography, discovering your loved one's out of control behavior can feel devastating. Spouses and partners often share with me that they feel shock, depression, rage, confusion, and isolation. As one spouse shared,
I had no idea what to do with the flood of feelings that poured over me after finding out he had been lying to me about looking at porn after I went to bed at night, chatting on social network sites, and having unprotected sex with other women. I was broken apart! I felt so alone, so angry, so betrayed - my whole world changed in a moment and I had no one to talk to. I am so thankful that I reached out for counseling and support. The tools I have learned with you, and the support and healing through individual sessions and the weekly contact with other betrayed partners in your facilitated partners group have changed my whole outlook and given me the courage and strength to focus on my own healing. ~P.P., female client, 42
Discovering your significant other has a secret sexual life is a traumatic event. As a result, many betrayed partners and spouses deal with traumatic stress symptoms such as physical pain, increased anxiety, insomnia, depression, poor self-image, overeating, substance abuse, and sexual withdrawal. If you can relate to any of this, you are not alone and there is help on the other side of sexual betrayal.
Over many years of working with men and women deeply wounded by their partner's destructive sexual choices, I have found that the reactions of the hurting partner often follows the Kubler-Ross grief cycle:
1. Denial: It will be fine, maybe I am making too much out of this.
2. Anger: Why me, why us? How can he/she keep doing this to me!
3. Bargaining: I will do anything if they would only change and stop lying.
4. Depression: I feel so betrayed, I don't know where to turn. I have no hope.
5. Acceptance: This is really happening, I am not crazy, and it is time for me to get help and healing.
My experience is in working with both the sexually compulsive client and the betrayed partner as well as a former partner of a sexually compulsive and deceptive person, I understand first hand the crazy making emotional roller coaster and heartbreak that spouses and partners deal with.
Change is not easy, but it is possible. If you are ready to move forward, I will help you step out of the cycle of pain and trauma by utilizing specific tools and activities in restoring your heart and your life - one step at a time.